I am staring out the window. Lake michigan, the rhino cage at the zoo and a very old and very beautiful conservatory are across the street. The weather is dreary, and I am continuously aware of this new limbo that has been created by the shift that has taken root and charge in me. So, again, in an effort to touch my feet to the ground I write about some of my recent dearest(s). Sophie felt sorta arms length(and I remember why darling S) until all of the sudden, not at all. What a charming woman- discreet giggler(when important), sincerely aware and cautious- then an under current of wildly fun and fantastic dancer. Hm. Excellent combination. Wish I knew more too. I was and continue to be touched by the last minute connections that were made in what was my safe haven/ studio. If I cared to wrap things into one lesson-which I don't- but will go ahead and dramatize for a moment- I would dare to say that each time I thought about being available and then chose to do so- I was so sweetly met by surprisingly open hearts. Sophie was one of them. We had, what, 10 minutes talking alone and that's all it took. Sold. Smooth next door to me- constantly questioning everything I said- and flipping most questions I asked- then saying something simple and generous- reminding me a little of who I am(gently). I appreciate his willingness to keep talking- plus, we were kind of an amazing karaoke duo. That's super hard to find. No woman no cry, lauren hill and wyclef- all branded now. Never satisfied with his work- and always somehow working. Described his family in a way that had me thinking I know what they look like. Maiko is another surprise. Wasn't hard to like her work and even more- to love what must be her- because she made it...I feel careful of exposing much- but would like to say I saw her floating around the periphery, and am still thinking now, the center of things would be better with you in it. We were like, kindred, somehow both part of that ballsy and equally fragile family.
Right now I am still on vacation. Minor panic attack this morning- I speculate due to lack of making and digging. It feels dumb to continue to miss you all so much, as we are adults, far passed the first kisses and late night sardine games of summer camp. But I like to think my missing carries more weight for me the second time around- since I've done this before, chose it again and somehow miss it/you/myself there- more this time. The best I can do with that is write in here as if you are receiving a letter from me (which some of you will) and as if you'll read this and some of my work will be done as my care for you settles into your skin- through the layers and maybe softens the blows of words and people that fling themselves and their tongues around with no thought in the world of where it lands and where it might hurt.
My life is dear, and moving and good. I love it , am proud of it, am living it. AND vermont stole my heart completely separate from that. One heart two worlds. Very pleased.